wondering

Staring at the ceiling for so long wond'ring what I'm thinking wond'ring what's wrong trying to figure out tomorrow and keep dodging the past but here i am... still can't believe today... Sometimes I want to be there... To the moment i've been dreamin' at times I wanted to stay to what I am now and most of the time I wanted to forget the part that i've become... The nightmares that's been haunting... how could i ever continue to live without trying to figure out the equation of life and how will i try to believe what others are saying about living life to the fullest, enjoy and letting life discover surprises isn't the person saying this a hypocrite? Would he be considered as someone whose been blinded by happiness that he'd already forget the struggles and difficulties? Rather he's just someone who's too optimistic? Which is which? What should I be? What was I? I'm still figuring out myself... So I'll just continue thinking!